Broken promises often lead to broken engagements that in turn lead to broken hearts.
Disappointment and sadness permeate the situation and leave people in a state of disbelief or despair until they manage to rise above the situation and move on with their lives.
This is not an easy task, but the sooner a person attempts to move on, the easier it should be.
Struggling to deal with a broken engagement is a difficult task that often takes time.
Nonetheless, going forward with a wedding when it simply wasn't meant to be would only be an even larger disappointment.
A broken engagement is usually going to be far less painful than a divorce somewhere down the line.
Although the unhappy couple will have to deal with canceling the wedding and every related aspect when dealing with a broken engagement, typically, they do not need to deal with the division of a houseful of furniture and related aspects of a married life.
A number of different scenarios can lead up to a broken engagement and broken promises between the two people involved.
The cause of the break up is important since it will get played back over and over again in the mind of the individual who finds herself or himself in this position.
Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful experiences that a couple can go through in their lives.
From the tiniest, inconsequential detail to the largest, essential detail, the planning of a wedding is an involved process that takes into consideration a great many facets.
For some individuals, a broken engagement will bring about a sigh of relief instead of a broken heart.
Nonetheless, feelings of doubt might ensue.
It is to be expected that both parties involved in the decision to cancel the wedding plans are going to experience some uncomfortable moments in the near future.
Dealing with the Need to Tell Others of the Broken Engagement One of the most unpleasant aspects of dealing with a broken engagement is the need to tell others.
This task is made even more difficult if you know that many of your friends and family will not agree with the decision.
It's important to realize that this obligation does not include the need to reveal the reasons behind the decision to break up.
It isn't anyone's business except yours.
A simple straightforward comment that the engagement is off is all that is necessary.
Unfortunately, people are not going to respect your right not to reveal all and they are bound to ask you for the fine details leading up to the broken engagement.
It is human nature to be curious and most people like to satisfy this need to know.
No matter how inappropriate the question might be, you are going to be faced with it many times as people try to find out why you have broken the engagement.
Several strategies can be used to inform people that the wedding will not take place.
If you are wondering why you should even bother to take the time, especially if the wedding invitations have not gone out, it is easier than not telling people about it.
It is so much more difficult to fend off those awkward questions in person than it is to set the stage with a simple statement.
Informing people before chance meetings saves a great deal of embarrassment and typically avoids inquisitions from all but the most persistent of individuals.
One of the best ways to let your friends, family, and coworkers know of the broken engagement and cancelled wedding plans is to send a brief note with a simple statement.
No matter what the facts are, a simple "The wedding has been canceled by mutual consent" is all that you need to state.
Of course, this can be worded in any manner that you like, but a short statement of this sort hints to others that no more details will be forthcoming.
Another method that can be used is to place a small advertisement in the local newspaper.
Again, the statement should be as brief as possible.
This strategy is less personal and typically, it reaches fewer of the intended guests, despite its widespread circulation.
Another of the more common techniques used to disperse the unfortunate news is to incorporate the phone list.
This involves calling each intended guest with a prearranged statement.
In order to keep the phone call brief, be sure to include a statement that you have a long list of phone calls to make so you will have to cut the call short.
If possible, you should get the assistance of a sibling, close friend, or parent to help you with this task.
Break the list down and split it up in the way that you think would be best.
Again, prepare a short statement that can be used.
Request that no details are given out unless you are comfortable sharing that information as well.
The primary benefit of informing people about the canceled plans is the avoidance of uncomfortable conversations that often make a person feel cornered into giving details.
Most people will respect your privacy if you have already informed them of the situation with a short note that suggests with its brevity you would like to keep the details private.
Dealing with the Cancellation of the Wedding Plans Unfortunately, the closer the broken engagement is to the actual wedding day, the more plans there are to be cancelled.
Moreover, the complexity of the event is going to dictate the amount of work involved in canceling all of the plans.
If the time before the wedding is short, then the financial cost is going to be great.
Nonetheless, the emotional cost usually outweighs the financial cost since it is easier to restore a bank account than it is to restore a broken heart.
The sooner the cancellations are started, the quicker they will end and the faster you can get on with your life.
Unfortunately, many of the deposits will be nonrefundable.
However, if you cancel the arrangements, you should be able to avoid the full cost.
First, notify the vendor by phone call and then, follow up in writing.
Make sure that you request a refund for any of the deposits that are refundable.
This information should be available in the paperwork associated with each vendor.
In many cases, the deposit will not be refundable.
However, it is important to ask.
For example, some reception halls will refund the deposit if they are able to rebook the hall.
Arrangements for any of the following should be canceled: photographer, videographer, officiate, reception hall, church, organist, singer, band, caterers, wedding cake, bartenders, airline travel arrangements, hotel reservations, rental car, limousine, invitations, hairdressers, jewelers, tuxedo reservations, spa reservations, and flowers.
If the wedding gown has already been purchase, you will have to decide whether to go ahead with the alterations or cancel them.
Typically, it is best simply to cancel these.
The gown can be sold or simply put away for the future.
This is an emotional decision that might be best left for several months down the line.
Dealing with the Return of Items If the intended bride and groom have already received engagement, shower, or wedding gifts, then obviously these items should be returned.
Including the brief note about the broken engagement and the cancellation of the wedding plans is the best strategy here.
A short note of thanks can also be included in the return.
Monogrammed gifts should also be returned despite their personalization.
Broken engagements are not the end of the world, despite the fact that they often feel like they are.
Broken promises are difficult to deal with emotionally, but once all of the obligations and cancellations have been dealt with, it will be easier to move on.
Broken hearts do heal with the passage of time and the determination to get through this difficult time.