Meet the EXPERT-KNOW-IT-ALL - Expert-know-it-alls are real experts, but they tend to treat the rest of world like idiots and roll right over any opinion different from theirs.
Experts are great.
They generally know their subject and can help you get what you want.
But, if you're not careful, an Expert-know-it-all will also make all your decisions for you and give you something that you don't want; like the time my computer friend upgraded my IBM to what he thought everyone ought to want, without even asking me if I wanted it.
In the end, I got the computer he wanted, instead of the computer I wanted.
Here's how you handle Expert-know-it-alls: _____1.
If they have agreed to help you, then keep your eye on what they're doing.
Ask lots of questions and don't let them proceed until they have explained exactly what they are doing and why.
_____2.
Make sure you phrase any disagreements as questions, so they don't think that you doubt their expertise.
Questions like, "If you configure my computer to automatically go on-line, won't I lose my options?" "If you upgrade me to that operating system, what will it give me that I don't have now?" "What if I want to do something another way, how would I go about it?" _____3.
If you have a different opinion than theirs, experts tend to think that you just don't understand, so use paraphrasing to show that you understanding exactly what they are saying.
Otherwise they will simply take any disagreement as an opportunity to re-explain themselves in great detail.
_____4.
You can often use your questions to lead them towards a mutual solution, so that you can use their expertise and still not be left out of the loop.
The most important thing, while dealing with any problem behavioral type, is to not let their behavior pull you off course.
In other words, don't let them pull you into inattentive, erupting, pessimistic, defensive, complaining, or passive aggressive behavior.
Remember that these people act the way they do because their actions have worked for them in the past.
You can't change their actions, so your best choice is to make their actions ineffective on you.
Once they notice that their tactics don't work on you, they will hesitate before using them on you again.
And with some people, the best that you can achieve is not allowing them to swamp your boat.
Sadly, most of the stress in our lives comes from extended interactions with negative and unhappy people.
Certain people have the ability to make you tired, angry and frustrated if you have to spend any time with them at all.
Moreover, researchers have discovered that the same "ten behavioral types" keep showing up to drive you crazy.
To read more about the terrible-ten, you can visit http://www.
navigatinglife.
org and click on the Galley where you will find a shortcut to "Coping with Difficult People.
"