How are you getting over the breakup? Do you hurt so bad that you feel the earth should open and swallow and cover you up, so you can get this over with? Do you want to retaliate? You should not blame yourself at all because this is all part of post-breakup experiences.
To get over a break up, there are several stages you need to pass through.
One woman whose first husband died and second husband divorced her said that it was actually easier getting over the death of a husband than it was recovering from divorce.
The reason being - there is usually societal support when someone dies, but you are practically on your own when it comes to getting over a break up.
Make out time and write a long letter to your ex.
Let your heart write for you.
Remind yourself of the good times the two of you had shared together, that it was fun being with them.
Put on paper how much the breakup has cost you and also how much you loved your ex.
Pour out your heart and do not hide anything.
This is because no one is going to see or read it.
You are going to burn it immediately after you have finished writing.
This strategy can help you recover from the trauma associated with breakups.
The next stage is to fix an appointment to meet and exchange properties.
When both of you were together you must have exchanged stuffs like gifts and materials.
Now is the time to return them.
Your ex will also do the same.
If there are properties of your ex that is still in your possession, either because he/she refused to collect them or things that can't be exchanged, it is better you wrap them and throw them away.
This is because these properties can only remind you of them as you are working hard to get over the break up.
It is not also out of place to box up any gifts you must have received from your ex.
If you had operated a joint account, you have to find a way to divvy it up and close the account.
If you owe your ex, pay up as soon as possible, or borrow to pay if you do not have the money with you.
All your financial matters with your ex should be settled if you really want to quickly recover from the break up.
Whatever it is that still holds both of you together should be cleared and done with.
After the break up agree for both of you to remain incommunicado for at least a month.
This will create the opportunity for both of you to build separate lives.
During this period, calls, text messages and visitations should not be entertained.
When you must have created this sense of doing things independently, you will be able to communicate normally once again.
This is not a very easy period so you have to relax and give yourself some breathing space in order to get over the breakup.