If you or loved-ones have been been harmed this way, you need and deserve support. Many times though, we don't get it. Why? There are so many things that can get in the way -- much of these revolve around us and our own thoughts and feelings. Reasons can include embarrassment that this happened to them. Then there is the fear aspect. "What if I reach out and it makes this worse? This could be too risky if I tell someone." Self-doubt can also creep in with the idea of "why are they doing this to me. Why me? Maybe other people see me as weak." That is yet another reason to stop or slow us down in reaching out. Meanwhile, we continue to struggle with the stress and uncertainty of what might happen next; not a pretty picture to be in and, again, not a comfortable one.
Why do people bully anyway? Their behavior actually has nothing to do with you but their own struggles that they then project on to you. Let me explain. Bullies tend to be in their own pain and feel out of control. Maybe they are not getting the love and support in their own life and are jealous. Maybe you have more things (personal items, games, etc., whatever it is that then may want from you). Maybe you are smarter than them, do better work, have better relationships, etc. There is method to the madness a reason why we do the thing we do. The bully is in need and acting out.

So how do we deal with this? First, know this is not about you. You are not bad, stupid, or anything you may hear from this person. They are not dealing with their own pain well. Get help. Talk with a friend, family member, classmate, teacher, co-worker, boss, etc... I want to accentuate the inappropriate power of bullying by highlighting how I see this person as a perpetrator. Because a perpetrator is someone who abuses others. I cannot begin to tell you how many have been abused (emotionally, physically, sexually, and so forth) and how deeply this pain can and will affect someone. Bullying is a crime and it must be stopped. If this is happening to you or someone you know, do something about it. Please. This is not something to put off or cross your fingers it will just go away. Reach out and get that support. Good luck!
Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT