When you want to get back your ex, there's no doubt that you're going to feel some pain. Breakups suck - plain and simple. I don't envy you if you're going through one, but I do want you to know that it's possible to get over it.

What you have to decide is if the breakup is actually a good thing or if you truly want your ex back. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you would be better off with your ex. If you really think that you want them back, it can happen.

Just make sure that you don't fall into the many mistakes that most people do.

When you're going through a breakup you're probably REALLY eager to get him or her back. This probably makes you want to call them a bunch or beg for them back, but that's exactly what you shouldn't do.

Look at it this way - your girlfriend or boyfriend totally expects this of you and have already prepared themselves to "defend" against this. A "break-uper" doesn't want to be questioned on their decision and is likely to just get defensive when confronted..

What does this mean? Quite frankly, you need to resist the urge to contact your ex and ask for them back

This is step one - appear that you've accepted it and avoid contact with your ex (at least contact that YOU initiate). You have to appear non-threatening.

The best thing about this is that you're going to force your ex to think about you! They will be left wondering why you haven't done any of the things they expected you to do! Your ex will be left to wonder why they haven't heard from you and then you're on their mind!

The second step is to do everything you can to give the impression that you're not hurting. That you're not in pain. And I know, you most likely will be. However you don't want your ex to see this. You want to appear to be a confident person and someone who is depressed is very unattractive.

This approach will get your ex thinking. They can't help but wonder why you are taking it so well. Also when you take this approach, it will make contacting your ex a lot easier later down the road. They will no longer be worried about you begging for them back.

The last piece of the puzzle is being able to know what to say to your ex when you eventually do make contact again. When the appropriate amount of time goes by, you're going to be in a position when you will want to arrange a meeting between the two of you.

And I should stress this "meeting" isn't something that you do right away! Remember steps 1 and 2!

Now a lot of the above steps are very difficult to follow, but they are very effective!