Apparently, in an abrupt move Santa Claus is quitting, and there will be no Christmas this year.
He's been upset that the Chinese have been stealing his toy patents and flooding the market with cheap toys.
He's also upset that all these plastic toys, and their wrappers are ending up in the Pacific Ocean.
During a training run to handle the increased number of middle class Chinese he flew over the Pacific Ocean after making a world wind trip.
Two things upset him on this trip which changed his views.
First, he was ordered to fly well around Air Force One as President Obama was making his way to Japan, causing his rain deer to become extremely tired, but as he flew further out over the ocean he noted a giant garbage island floating out there.
He landed on it to give his rain deer a rest and feed them some Sushi, but it turns out the fish they caught to eat were full of plastic, and tasted horrible.
On the trash island were plastic wrappers, and old plastic toys, most of them Chinese knock-offs of his models.
He was livid, and then he also noted some other toys with lead based paint.
So, he took off and flew back home and told Mrs.
Claus, "I quit!" And so Mrs.
Claus held a press conference but no one attended, everyone was busy filming Obama's Asian Tour.
And so, she alerted me to tell you all about what happened.
Indeed, I really feel bad for the Claus' and upset because, it is not even politically correct to say Merry Christmas anymore.
Don't worry, now you don't have too anymore.
So, please consider all this.