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How a man moves from being a biological father (read sperm donor) to becoming a loving, committed and involved dad has been the subject of many books, including my PowerDads.  But few have charted the course of this transition as well as Michael Byron Smith, the author of the new book The Power of Dadhood: Be the Father Your Child Needs.  Michael suggests a way of thinking about fatherhood that will cause any man to take a careful look at himself and his role as a father.

 

 

The Power of Dadhood begins with a stirring defense of the need of a father in the life of a child.  Far too many “experts” and single mothers argue today that fathers are superfluous - that any old male role model will do, and for some, any male role model at all may be unnecessary.  Smith rejects this notion and argues very effectively that fathers are needed - that children benefit most when raised in a family with an involved mother and an involved father.  He cites statistics that children from fatherless families have a significantly higher risk of trouble as children and youth than those with an intact nuclear family.

Smith then introduces one of the key themes of the book - what he calls the “Pyramid of Dadhood.”  The pyramid has three layers - a present father at the base, a loving father in the middle and a nurturing father at the pyramid’s pinnacle.  He goes into quite a bit of detail talking about father absence - whether physical absence or emotional distance - and what the lack of an involved father means to children and families.

 In subsequent chapters, Smith leads the reader through a series of challenges that are faced by fathers, families and children, and shares the unique factors that a father can bring to these challenges.  He articulates very effectively that involved and committed fathers can bring strength and stability to families as they face the challenges of today’s world.

After laying this foundation, The Power of Dadhood moves into a more exhaustive review of the pyramid model introduced earlier in the book.  Smith delves into presence, love and nurturing with fine detail  sharing stories and anecdotes that illustrate the points he is making.  For example, in the chapter on showing love as a father, Smith includes information on the following subtopics:

• Let them know you care
  
• Give your kids the father they really want
  
• Listening
  
• Offering encouragement
  
• Minimizing parental pressure
  
• Being aware
  
• Encouraging passion
  
• Focusing on prevention rather than healing
  
• Being consistent and reliable
  
• Knowing the power of habits
  
• Creating family traditions
  

Each chapter in this series dealing with the pyramid of dadhood is equally full of treasures that can help any dad move forward to achieve his potential.

The chapter that deals with nurturing offers some interesting insights into how fathers can effectively nurture sons and daughters differently.  A subsequent chapter works to apply these key principles in a very practical way as Smith looks at how we teach our children about money and how to manage it.   The final chapter of the book deals with how to seek forgiveness and change your behavior as a father if you haven’t always measured up - and which father hasn’t?  

In two appendices to the book, Smith introduces us to his seven characteristics of a successful father and a comprehensive self-inspection checklist for fathers to self-evaluate in terms of their journey toward Dadhood.  These two tools alone are well worth the price of the book, and will help any dad take a long hard look at his own performance.

In The Power of Dadhood, Michael Smith takes a very effective run at helping dads conceive and achieve a new level of success at home.  His stories are effective, his formula offers practical advice, and, above all, he offers hope that everyday fathers like most of us, can achieve uncommon success as a parent, as a father and as a man.  Maybe that is the most important takeaway of all from The Power of Dadhood.