The other day while working with a client, he talked about his disappointment and frustration over his wife being a lazy lover.
It took a lot of trust for him to confide this so we mapped out some other ideas that relate to his struggle with this.
He wanted to make the marriage last his lifetime and felt that it was going down the wrong path.
I asked him if he was lazy at loving with his wife and children and/or in any other way in his life.
He paused, looked at me with a grimace and said, "Heck ya!" It was my intention to get him to take full responsibility for his own actions before he approached his wife with his truth.
Here are some things we came up with that we are all guilty of: *Not looking in someone's eyes to greet them! *Forgetting to acknowledge something someone did for us and saying "thank you"! *Being hurtful and not apologizing quickly! *Insensitive comments! *Impatience! *Not communicating what you want and need to be loved! *Taking time to be present with your lover before love making! *Not doing something to please our partner just to make them happy! *Offering a token of love, card, a flower, or any gesture of giving! *Unwilling to forgive for hurt caused us! *Not Allowing others to feel, think and act as they do because we are threatened! The goal is to dissolve our own feelings of separation and isolation and look at the larger perspective.
Paying attention to our own journey and watching how powerful our shift is in causing others to react differently towards us.
Being proactive at loving many different ways can being very fulfilling and full of surprises.
It is cause and effect.
I love what Gary Chapman says, "The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.
It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate.
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