In the spirit of summer movies, or should I say the crushing of spirits via summer movies (thanks Hangover 2, you sucked), I've found myself even more introspective than usual.
My latest ruminations have revealed themselves in the form of a personal film review.
Not unusual for me.
I love movies.
Most of the ones I enjoy strangely involve suffering of some sort.
Not so much Saw VI suffering, more like Ordinary People.
I'm not a masochist.
I just find that watching true life experience, much of which can be painful, opens my mind to sympathies not yet realized.
This is where I'm impacted, which results in positive reviews.
So now I think about how certain events in my life would be viewed by an objective audience.
Is this arrogant or self-serving? Oddly, no.
Some decent decision making has manifested itself from this behavior.
More important, I've paused in parts where I usually play.
I don't go out much anymore, comparatively speaking.
By going out, I mean myself and other dudes, sans the wives and girlfriends.
Not long ago, the opportunity presented itself, and my wife begrudgingly allowed.
She watched me leave much like a mother watching her son board a bus to Vietnam.
I immediately started to question the point of what I was doing.
There were no nerves or insecurities, and I looked forward to seeing a couple of old friends.
Was the decision for me to go out an integral part of the movie? I had plenty of laughs, and caught up with some guys I hadn't seen in a while.
Some of them seemed genuinely excited to see me.
But as the night wore on, and the story unwound, my character seemed destined for the editing room floor.
I began to view things from an audience's perspective.
Am I necessary to the scene? How would the plot be affected without me? The answer was clear.
I was not detrimental, only dispensable.
I was an extra, and it was fine.
I still managed to get home late enough to upset the wife, and the argument of how many of the other husbands were still at it, once again, fell on deaf ears.
I was where I needed to be, though.
Like DeNiro in The Godfather II, essential to the film.
Making my wife laugh, seeing my daughter smile, and watching how much it means to my son each time I give him affirmation, these are the roles that advance my acting career.
A mistake I repeated in the past was considering how others would review my life, in all aspects.
Now I look for the parts that suit my style, and perform to an audience that matters.
Regrettably, my adaptations are not always of Daniel Day Lewis proportions.
I continue to perfect my craft, and search for leading man roles where I can reflect and know that I nailed the part.
Where are you irrelevant? More important, where can your performance be brilliant? I encourage you to seek out these parts and report back.
Until then, break a leg!