I often hear from wives who are looking for a way to get their husband to want them back.
I often hear comments like: "my husband moved out.
I can't let him go.
How can I get him to want me back?" Or "my husband has already filed for divorce.
Is to too late for me to make him want me back?" Or " we aren't even speaking at this point.
I'm starting to think it's impossible for him to want me back when we aren't even interacting with one another.
" The theme of these questions are often quite similar.
The wife usually knows that what she wants to do is going to be quite a challenge, but her feelings about her husband, her family, and her marriage propel her forward to do whatever needs to be done to make him want to save the marriage.
Often, these women are willing to try or do just about anything that's healthy and effective.
The problem is that they are often fresh out of ideas and they feel as though they are running out of time.
In the following article, I'll offer some tips and strategies that I've actually seen work for women who are trying to get their husbands to want them back.
Any Strategy To Get Your Husband To Want You Back Should Appear Very Genuine: I have to stress this first of all.
Often, if you don't play this very carefully, your husband is well aware of what you are trying to do and as a result will make your job even harder, particularly if he is resistant to the idea of coming back.
So, it's extremely important that you evaluate your ability to convincingly "sell" or "pull off" any strategy that you are going to try.
It may be tempting to try to do a complete about face and act as if you're someone you're not, but this will often backfire if you can't make it appear very genuine and almost spontaneous.
Getting Your Husband To Want You Back Often Means Changing The Perceptions He Already Has: Many women will assume that they need to "start all over" or do something very drastic to get his attention or to get the desired response.
But, you usually need to realize that in order for him to change his mind and decide to want you back, he will also need to change the perceptions that he currently has.
Sometimes when I explain this, wives take this to mean that they need to focus and then overcome their problems immediately.
This isn't what I mean at all.
In fact, I don't think that you need to dwell on the things that are coming between you.
Eventually you will need to, of course.
But, when you're already on very shaky ground, it doesn't make sense to rock the boat.
Typically, what gets better results is if you're able to change the perceptions that is keeping him away from you right now.
I have to tell you that many men tell me that the things their wife assumes aren't always true.
He's sometimes just as sad as you are that things are ending.
But, he often doesn't think that things ever can (or ever will) change.
He often sees a difference between how things are today and how they were when the both of you were happy.
But, here's the thing.
Although many external things may have changed, the core often remains the same.
What I mean by this is that sure, you may have a lot of responsibilities and stress.
You may have kids and jobs and short tempers.
You may feel pressure that you might have only imagined when you were dating.
But, despite what you may think at this very moment, the two people who fell in love are the same people who we are talking about now.
People will often insist to me that either they are their spouse have "changed.
" I usually don't fully buy this, although there's no doubt in my mind that the situation has changed.
And I never doubt that priorities and time allotment has changed.
My point is that often, if you change the situation and the priorities, the perceptions slowly begin to change as do the feelings.
Showing Your Husband The Woman He Wanted In The Beginning (And Who He'll Hopefully Want To Come Back To Now:) I'll share with you something that really changed the way I looked at my situation when I was going through this same thing.
I was seeing a therapist who asked me what attracted my husband to me.
In other words, what was I like when we were dating? I told her that my husband brought out the best in me.
That when I was with him then, I wasn't the uptight perfectionist that I usually am.
I felt more free, lighter, and just more fun to be around.
I even saw myself as funny and sort of happy go lucky at that time.
My husband and I used to spend a lot of time laughing.
I remember after this description, the therapist said something like "so, you're describing an attentive, vibrant, light hearted person with a lot of energy?" I agreed with that assessment at about the same time that she whipped out a mirror and showed me my reflection.
It was then that it hit me just how different everything had become.
I wasn't presenting myself in the same way to my husband and yet, I expected his feelings for me (and for the marriage) not to change.
This was obviously unrealistic.
And this is what I want for you to realize.
Often, you will have your best chance to get him back if you can show him that woman he first wanted and fell in love with.
Because if you can do that in a very genuine and convincing way, then this is the person who is going to have the best chance of getting him to want her back.