It has been debated recently that as soon as children come along, people lose most of their talents for conversation outside the realms of parenthood, child rearing and topics which generally cover nursery issues.
Amongst younger parents the problem has been known to separate them from friends they have known for years, due to their inability to discuss any subject sensibly which does not centre around the new arrival in their lives and to behave sensibly in the houses of their friends with their children.
Gradually interest in staying in touch dwindles and friends fade away, never to be seen again, at least until Junior reaches school age.
What is it that makes us blind to our own stupidities in these matters?Probably the most self centred peer group out there are the single, professional set.
Not the kind of people who would be interested in whether your new addition is taking solids yet.
Yet new parents themselves often hail from this echelon of an ambitious and self preserving society.
A side issue of these endangered friendships is the difficulty of entertaining parents of destructive children in a home which contains fragile treasures.
Parents of the new age are notoriously inept at teaching their children to respect other peoples belongings and personally I am on the side of the single when it comes to teaching kids not to damage property.
Time and again I am astounded at the attitude of intelligent adults who seem unable to apply logic and reason to the teaching of standards to their kids.
I was once unfortunate enough to invite a lady to lunch - with several other ladies I might add - in spite of having been informed she must bring her four year old due to a lack of babysitting facilities.
The lady was the first to arrive and once I had settled her with who turned out to be the horror from hell in my sitting room I hastened to the kitchen for ten minutes.
By the time I returned, the lady had removed all my table lamps, photographs, flower vases and anything else she deemed breakable to the spare bedroom out of harms way.
The poor woman felt she was being considerate to dismantle my décor in the name of health and safety but I could not have been angrier.
It is not difficult to understand that if you construct a child proof environment around your offspring, they will not understand that it is naughty to break other people's fragile belongings.
Children, like the young of any species, must be trained.
You would not, hopefully, allow your child to remain in diapers forever.
Why, then, do so many parents think it acceptable to allow babyish behaviour, such as throwing food, spitting, biting, and breaking things, to go unchecked? There is nothing more tragic than seeing an attractive four or five year old made unwelcome because it's parents do not have the intelligent or energy to teach it proper manners at the appropriate time.
Children should begin learning social skills as soon as they are able to comprehend the meaning of 'no.
' Comprehension, contrary to many people's opinions, takes place well before the end of baby's first year.
Parents find it so difficult to say no and I have never been able to understand why this is.
It is such a simple formula with children.
At an early age they understand 'yes, it is okay for you to do that' and 'no, it is not okay for you to do that.
'Everything else is a waste of time.
I see young mothers struggle tirelessly to explain, in glorious details, why it is not possible to allow this or that, when the poor child's eyes have glazed over after the first sentence and he has probably already forgotten why the lecture became necessary in the first place.
Such in depth discussions should be saved until such time as the child is able to understand and indeed be interested in the intricacies of right and wrong.
For children in the early stages of learning, a little knowledge at a time is the best way forward.
Parents teaching their children to behave in other people's homes must start with their own environment.
Training children not to break valuables is a basic life skill; without it your children will be rendered unwelcome in just about any civilised home.
Do not remove glass objects and delicate items from your coffee tables; rather teach your child not to touch them.
Do not pad corners of tables and work tops - your child must cope with them elsewhere, so where is the advantage of showing him it is okay to tear around inside the house like a lunatic? Table manners also begin at home, not in popular fast food restaurants.
Standing with dirty shoes on seats which other people have to sit on and eating with your hands is not acceptable behaviour, so do not accept it from your child unless you are prepared to see him behave the same way at your friend's coffee morning.
Competent parenting is a common sense game, which so few parents master.