It's one of those things that can have you scratching your head trying to figure out where it went wrong. Discovering your spouse is having an extramarital affair is bad enough but what can gnaw at you to the core is coming to grips with why.

That's probably what the wife of a certain famous golfer is attempting to understand. Her and a number of political wives whose husbands have fallen off the fidelity wagon.

There are any number of reasons a spouse cheats on their significant other. It ranges anywhere from they don't love you anymore to seeing someone they desire and going for it; no deeper meaning other than take what you want because you can.

Another one is you turned out to be something other than they expected. Truth to tell it is not like you changed radically from the person your significant other fell in love with. In fact you have not changed at all. You are the same person that they vowed to be with for better or worse.

But your spouse had a plan in mind for you and in their opinion you failed to pass the test.

Their plan was to in essence give you a complete makeover. Sure they said they loved you for who you were but what they really meant is they would love you more for who you become.

For some people a spouse is not someone to walk through life with but a project to be worked on. They see potential in you and want to do everything in their power to make sure you get there.

Except you are not cooperating. The potential you see in yourself as well as the road you want to take to get there is the exact opposite of what your significant other wants. Naturally this causes conflict and resentment. On your part it's where do they get off trying to recreate you? On their part it's where do you get off in your refusal to understand that they know what is best for you?

Since you won't play that game they feel they are more than justified in going out and finding someone who will. For them the marriage relationship has nothing to do with equality.