Many of us will be unhappy with the outcome of the upcoming presidential election.
If your candidate does not win you will be among this group.
As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I would like to offer you some tips on how to get through the disappointment and get on with your life.
Presidential elections are unique as they galvanize the different parties and keep us at odds with each other.
How many of you have had a hard time talking with a neighbor, or even a family member over this election? People line up on their side and can't easily see the other's.
This election cycle has grown into fixed positions with hard edges, headed for a showdown on November 4th.
And once again the country will be divided.
If you didn't vote for the man who will become the next president, what will you do with all your energy? How will you handle even the day after? During the last debate I said to myself, it's possible my candidate will not win this election.
After I accepted that this could be true, I took a deep look at the man I will not be voting for and asked myself the following questions.
"Does he care about America?" "Does he care about the people who live here?" "Will he do his best in the job as president?" The answer to all three questions was the same.
Yes.
I believe the candidate I will not vote for cares and loves America.
I believe the man whose policies I don't agree with cares about me, maybe not in the way I want him to, but I believe he nevertheless cares about me.
Will he do the best job he can as president? Yes.
I believe he will do everything he is capable of doing and I believe he will work hard for this country.
When I knew the answer to these questions I became calm.
I felt I would be O.
K.
I felt the country would be too.
It may not be the outcome I am looking for, and we still will be O.
K.
I've been alive long enough to have presidents in office who I did not vote for.
I have survived each four year term.
I am still here.
I am O.
K.
I may have felt shock, sadness and depression because my candidate lost, but I moved through it even thought sometimes it took a few weeks.
This election I don't want to find myself in a slump if my candidate loses, it's too painful and I lose too much time.
I want to be O.
K.
no matter what outcome occurs.
I cannot control the outcome.
I have one vote.
I can exercise control over how I think about the outcome.
I can choose to accept the winner as my president.
I can choose to acknowledge a vigorous fight and accept the loss.
I do not have to hate the other for thinking and voting different than me.
I can choose to say "it was a good fight, you won.
" I don't want to hold a grudge for another four years before I feel better.
That's too much wasted time.
And besides, when hostility builds up inside the body, it turns toxic, and that can lead to physical symptoms: headaches, stomachaches, sleep disorders, angry outbursts and more.
Spare yourself the anxiety and stress.
Make peace now with a possible outcome.
You've survived losses and disappointments before, all humans have.
You will survive this one too.