When I was a kid (way back when), there was a little ditty that we kids used to say to each other when we went to bed: Good Night, Sleep Tight, Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite.
I'm happy to say that that is as close as I've ever come (thus far) to these parasites.
You see, when I was a kid, the bed bug was kind of like the Bogey Man - deliciously scary but not quite real.
They had been pretty well eradicated by DDT.
When that pesticide was banned, however, the pesky little critters have made a comeback and now it is not uncommon to run into them in even the ritzier hotels in New York City.
Bed bugs, I understand, are kind of like ambulatory apple seeds - they're about that size and shape and kind of a reddish brown.
They hide in crevices of mattresses, box springs, headboards and bed frames.
According to no less an authority than the Mayo Clinic, the risk of encountering the insects increases if you spend time in places with high turn-overs of night time guests - hotels, dormitories, summer camps, homeless shelters, apartment complexes, military barracks and even hospitals.
In New York City, there were 10, 985 complaints about bedbugs in 2009, up from 537 in 2004.
For most people, the pests are not so much a danger as an annoyance.
They do bite and they do feast on our blood but some people have no reaction at all to those bites.
Others have an allergic reaction that can include severe itching, blisters or hives.
There is no specific treatment for their bites, but those who suspect that they have been bitten should try to refrain from scratching the bites lest they become infected.
If the urge to scratch becomes irresistible, steroid creams or oral antihistamines may relieve the symptoms.
Ridding your home or bedding of these parasites can be daunting and usually requires pest-control professionals.
It amazes me: for all our hubris and sense of entitlement, for all our theological suppositions and justifications for domination, we human still can't get rid of the pesky little critters - not only bed bugs, but those perennial pests, cockroaches.
We're now trying to use mosquitoes to eliminate malaria but I wonder if we'll ever find a use for bed bugs or cockroaches.
When it comes right down to it, maybe their only use, their only purpose, is to keep us humble.
Good night, sleep tight...