If you've just gone through a breakup with your girlfriend and you're wondering if the no contact rule can help you get her back, there's an exact method in how to use it. No contact is a simple and effective strategy, but you need to be resilient in sticking to it.

Here's how to use the no contact rule after a breakup:

1. Get a calendar and mark off a date 30 days from now.

From this point in time until 30 days from now, you must commit to cutting off contact (or at least minimizing it) with your ex.

This means you need to stay off instant messengers, Facebook, MSN, any online methods of communication you use with her. It means you need to stop calling her, stop answering her text messages, and basically keeping your contact with her to a simple hi, or hello.

Note: You do NOT want to seem hostile or withdrawn when you see her. Be cordial and friendly. This is important. You need to seem like you're happy to see her - but not like you want to get into a big conversation.

Remember, keep your contact with her to an absolute minimum. If she tries to bring up your relationship, say you need to be somewhere else, or someone's calling you, or whatever.

(This is why it's best simply to shut off contact with her as much as possible, because then you won't need to invent reasons to avoid her.)

2. In 30 days, break the no contact period.

At this point, you should be in a much better frame of mind. The breakup won't hurt as much. You'll be able to send her a small note or text, in which you should let her know you're okay with what happened between you.

Wish her well, and say you hope things are going well for her. Mention something going on in your life, particularly something GOOD that has happened to you recently.

(The key is to make yourself seem like you're happy again, because that will both pique her interest in you, and make her more likely to respond because she won't think you're depressed.)

3. Keep your initial contact light and friendly.

You may find that after you contact her again, she wants to get together with you. If so, it's up to you to keep your contact light and friendly and cordial. You don't want to go back through the relationship stuff from before.

You absolutely must focus on building a new relationship - one based on friendship, fun, and happiness. Do not dredge up "the old stuff" because it will only backfire on you.

In this way, the no contact rule can be extremely effective at getting her back after a breakup, but it's important to use these three steps exactly as they're spelled out.