If you discover you've been cheated on, you might feel a host of emotions: sadness, anger, frustration, hopelessness, confusion, guilt, loss. But the end result is recovery. There is recovery from cheating, but it might take some time to get there.

The key to recovery is coming to terms with what's happened and to take something from the experience. As with any situation, each person will handle things differently. Here are six tips to getting from pain to recovery.

1.    Get support. You need the support of people wherever you can get it. Don't turn to your spouse for support; in fact, taking some emotional time away from your spouse can do wonders right now. Instead, turn to a parent, sibling, friend or even clergy member. Turn to someone who can give you advice, support and love during this difficult time.

2.    Allow yourself to be angry, but don't quickly jump to a resolution because of the anger. That is, don't automatically conclude that divorce is the only answer. In the end, divorce might be the answer for you, but many marriages have survived infidelity and yours might, too. Give yourself time to deal with what has happened before you jump to a resolution.

3.    Let the emotions happen. That is, when you're feeling real pain, you can often want to move past the pain, and quickly. You might let the pain and anger propel you to some kind of resolution before you're ready for it. So let yourself feel everything and even wallow in those feelings a bit. It's only after you have felt the pain that you can really move past it. Consider reading books that deal with the subject of infidelity to help you through the process.

4.    Throw yourself into something different. While you are trying to deal with the disappointment and feelings of loss, do something different. Depending on the time you have available you might take a painting class, or begin going to church. You might throw yourself into your children's activities. The idea is to do something different, maybe that benefits others in some fashion and that allows you to take your mind off of yourself and your problems.

5.    When you're ready, talk. When you feel you can do it peacefully, talk to your spouse. Make it clear that you control the conversation. That is, you'll discuss things when you're ready. He'll have to understand that to a large degree, you have the right to control the conversation and that he owes you a frank discussion.

6.    Decide if your marriage can be saved. You might work through this with your partner, with a friend or with your spouse, but do work through the possibilities. Many marriages survive and many don't. You won't know how yours will fare until you work through your feelings, give the situation some time to settle down and talk to your spouse. Then decide if the marriage can be saved or if you and your partner are better served moving on.