In good weather, put two angry children on opposite sides of a strong window or sliding glass door. Provide each with a spray bottle of window cleaner and a rag. Then let them "attack". Their anger and ugly words will turn to laughter...and your window will then be clean saving you a step!
When children tell lies, say something similar to, "I'd really like if I could believe you, but it's hard for me to believe you're telling the truth." Then you need to wait for your child to straighten things out. When kids do tell the truth, they may confess something that requires you to discipline them. Your job as a parent is to make sure they know they are being disciplined for the action, and not for telling the truth. In fact, you may want to reduce the punishment a little, explaining that telling a lie causes them to be in more trouble and honesty is the best policy.
Don't have more rules than your child can easily remember. Don't have so many rules that they are impossible to enforce. Explain the reason for your rules so they understand why you chose them. Be sure you are also following the rules yourself.
For better discipline at home, be positive, clear, reasonable, consistent and set a good example.
Positive discipline teaches:
- Self-control
- Cooperation in resolving conflicts
- Right from wrong
- How to communicate expectations using words.
- High self-esteem
- Give the feeling that the child is "part of the solution"
- Respect for others and authority
Speak quietly for better discipline. If you speak in a normal tone of voice, even when you are angry, you will help your child see how to best handle anger appropriately. And if you don't scream at your children, they are less likely to scream at each other...or end up screaming at you.
Try a "black hole" to keep toys and other belongings picked up. All you need is a closet or cabinet with a lock to create the "black hole". When something is left out that you have asked them to pick up, it gets put into the "black hole" for 24 hours. Once a favorite toy or something your child wants is locked up for 24 hours, there is greater incentive to keep it where it belongs. This works best when the whole family participates.
Try role playing to eliminate constant fighting. For five minutes minimum, have the fighters switch roles. Each has to present the other person's point of view of what they are arguing about. They must be as clear and fair as possible. Odds are, they'll start laughing and make up. Better yet, they may end up compromising and finding a solution that both parties like.
Dealing with your child's chronic forgetfulness:
- Use tricks, like a checklist. Before your child goes anywhere outside of the house, have her run through a checklist head to toe. Asking herself if she has done her hair, jacket, gloves, shoes, backpack, etc.
- Before your child leaves have her stop and ask if they have everything they need for the day.
- Write it down. Write down a checklist of everything your child takes to school on a typical day.
- Don't make it easy to forget. If your child has forgotten homework, don't drive her to school to retrieve it. That way next time it makes an impact to help her remember.
- Teach your child to develop her own ways to remember things.