As a transracial, adoptive family there is a consideration that we must make. In light of the current cultural struggles here in America, we cannot stake a claim in complete ignorance. Instead, we must proactively ask ourselves a question for the sake of our children.

How will I talk to my kids about the realities of racism and prejudice?

For most of us, we would likely prefer to avoid the discomfort of such a question or conversation.

For others, we may simply believe that it is not as big of an issue as the media or culture says. But that response, or choice, can eventually be very damaging to our children.

To act as though racism is not a big deal, or that color does not matter is dangerous. While, like my family, it may not be a pressing daily issues for you. One day your kids may not be in such a safe or sheltered place. When that day comes, if you have not prepared them, you could have possibly set them up for failure, harm or much hurt.

Let me be very clear on this subject. I am not referring to black and white racism only, but to the racism that exists between most cultures, colors and nationalities. No matter how good of a person you believe you are, there is an innate discomfort that exists when you are around a person or people group who is different than yourself. Your response and your perception will determine the outcome and be the greatest teacher for your kids.

So, how do we educate our kids, prepare our kids and talk to our kids about this subject of racism?

I would like to offer a few ideas.

• Do not teach your children to expect or look for racism everywhere they go. If we look for something long enough we will find it! If you set the expectation in your children that racism is always prevalent, they will have a skewed point of view.
• Help your kids understand that racism does exist and they will likely encounter some version of it during their lives. Let your kids know that even though your family may not be subject to abject racism, the whole world is not like your family. With over 7 billion people, it is a certainty that there are plenty of places and situations where racism exists.
• Explain that even though your family is “colorblind” there are many in this world whom are not “colorblind”. Unfortunately, for many people the color of your skin is still a social, cultural and psychological hurdle that has not yet been overcome.
• Teach your kids history. Whether you’re an American or not, the history of equality and racial tension exist across the planet. Acknowledging the struggles of the past is important. And, realizing that while we are certainly not as far along as we could be, we have come far from what used to be. History is a good teacher, and a great reminder of the importance of progress and the hope of potential.
• Help your kids see the potential in everyone. When we view people for their potential, we become blind to the problems. Help your kids develop a habit of seeing the potential in others, especially those who are different. This starts at home with siblings or between parent and child. You’ll be amazed at how powerful this tool can be in overcoming tension and discomfort with the people who are around you. Looking at the potential opens the door to hope!

Bottom line, you cannot avoid this conversation.  As the father of 3 white children and 2 black children, this is a reality in our home. Our kids have asked questions about color. Our kids have asked questions about all white or all black families. Our kids have friends who are Indian, Asian, Hispanic and more. Our kids see the world in a vast array of colors and cultures. And, in their innocence now, are curious of it all.

As adoptive parents, if we help our children appreciate the cultures, the colors and potential in others, we can make a step in the right direction. Maybe, if we would all do this, one day we will be in a world where people are not consumed by race, color or prejudice. Maybe, one day, we will live in a world consumed by potential!