Why does big business have all the fun? We fix our own postage stamps - THEY use a franking machine.
We use scissors - THEY use a guillotine.
We put our papers in the bottom drawer while THEY have a filing cabinet.
And it has only been in recent times that you can get a car that plays a tune when reversing, just like those big lorries.
Oh, and next time you are in your supermarket, have a look around, especially behind the delicatessen counter.
You will soon see an electric fly killer.
These are also common in restaurant kitchens and food production factories.
Well that is just marvelous.
While the rest of us have to make do with a rolled up newspaper, these shops and factories can have the work done for them by a machine.
Try asking the supermarket assistant if you can buy a fly killer, or where you can get one.
"These machines are not for the likes of you! Go and buy a newspaper like everyone else" would be the reply.
Well, perhaps not - I think my imagination got lost there - most shop assistants are much nicer than that.
And try going down the high street to find an elusive fly killer machine.
Drug store (Chemist)? - No! White Goods store? unlikely.
Toy Shop? Pet Shop? No, I reckon the fly killer machines are in the same shops that sell guillotines and franking machines.
What, a stationer's shop? No..
..
perhaps not..
..
..
I guess this means a trip to the newsagent - perhaps they can supply ready-rolled newspapers.
Look, isn't it time for the ordinary folk out there who want to live in a clean, hygienic, house fly-free house, to strike out.
Well, I'll let you into a little secret: the wonderful Insectocutor Hygenie fly killer is designed for domestic properties.
It looks like an elegant wall lamp but is actually deadly to flies and wasps.
There are other small machines for the home too.
But where are they? Try http://www.
eeeee.
co.
uk (link is below) and so you can now have your very own killer in the home!