- Not surprisingly, psychologists point to a child's parents as having a major early influence. When children see their parents working doggedly on projects, paying desperate attention to detail, they are likely to internalize the message: "Everything must be perfect."
Likewise, if a parent hovers over a child, correcting each tiny mistake, the child learns that no error is insignificant; they learn to "sweat the small stuff."
In short, a mother and father can inadvertently raise a perfectionist by modeling perfectionist behavior. - The other end of the spectrum can be just as treacherous, experts say. If a parent--or other influential grownup, like a teacher or coach--heaps too much praise on a child for their perfect test score or recital, it can create an unhealthy need in the child. The child may expect balloons and standing ovations after every performance, and beat himself up whenever he feels he's fallen short.
- Perfectionism may have its roots outside the home, as well.
Some researchers have focused on a common grade-school phenomenon: indirect aggression, when classmates engage in socially manipulative tactics such as backbiting, keeping secrets and giving a friend the "silent treatment."
Such "mean girl" behavior (so named because it is most common among young women) may compel a student to develop perfectionist qualities as a coping mechanism. By holding themselves to a higher standard, they maintain control over a hostile environment and ward off catty remarks. - Many well-publicized studies have cited a link between media portrayals of the physically ideal woman (or man) and eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.
There may be a similar cause-and-effect connection between sufferers of perfectionism and the images of unblemished, perfectly proportioned, impeccably dressed fashion models and actors that bombard them daily. - The timeworn debate over "nature versus nurture" applies to the subject of perfectionism, as well: Studies suggest that some people may simply be genetically predisposed to strive for perfection.
Scientists are quick to point out that even if there is a biological component to perfectionism, the native tendency can be overcome. Just as a person with substance addiction in their genes can quit smoking, a natural-born perfectionist can, through exercise and therapy, learn to accept imperfection.
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