From time to time, subtlety gets in the way of a clear message.
To forestall that unhappy possibility, permit me to write bluntly.
Your health needs this message.
If you eat or drink anything with high fructose corn syrup in it, you're stupid.
If you're dealing with diabetes-and eat or drink anything with high fructose corn syrup in it-you're an idiot.
If you're trying to lose weight-and eat or drink anything with high fructose corn syrup in it-you don't have a lick of sense.
Smart up and avoid high fructose corn syrup (HFCS).
Now, this takes vigilance.
Lots of vigilance.
The stuff is everywhere.
It's in ketchup.
Worcestershire sauce.
Cereals.
Bread.
Processed foods.
And on, and on.
Reading labels can be an eye-opening experience.
Why should you bother? Let me count the ways.
One can of soda pop contains enough HFCS to overwhelm your liver.
Doing in your liver makes you a goner all by itself, but that can of soda starts a domino effect amongst your body parts.
HFCS raises your triglycerides, the fatty acids in your blood.
Not wanting to be left out, your blood pressure makes a leap.
And your uric acid, confused by the never-seen-in-nature HFCS, starts an upward trek.
Can you say gout? And now they're learning that high uric acid levels do a number on your kidneys.
Whilst you pour HFCS down your gullet, you should at least have the good manners to wish your kidneys good luck.
But, wait! There's more! HFCS sends your leptin into orbit.
We know leptin as a big player in appetite and weight loss, but that pales in comparison to what it does to your brain and your pancreas.
HFCS is murder on your pancreas.
Charged with the task of maintaining blood sugar levels, the pancreas throws in the towel.
See the sentence about diabetes above.
Well, I could go on, but if you don't have the picture by now, why bother? Just eat, drink and be merry-and get sick and die early.
Here's how it is: Your body doesn't know how to handle HFCS.
It's like lobbing a bomb into your system.
The manufacturers of HFCS know this, but it's the money, honey.
How much money? More than enough to hire "researchers" and writers to sing the praises of HFCS so people think it's not so bad after all.
To believe it's 'natural'.
That all's well with the world.
But no matter how loudly they toot the bugle and bang the drum, HFCS manufacturers still couldn't sell the stuff if food manufacturers didn't happily jump on board.
But here's the secret: Food manufacturers would quit the game, stop the HFCS nonsense on a dime, if you refused to buy the stuff.
Bottom line: You get to choose whether or not to be an idiot.
Is this a great country or what?