Our twin grandchildren have lived with us for almost three years.
My husband and I became GRGs -- grandparents raising grandchildren -- after their parents were killed in separate car crashes.
Like other GRGs, we love our grandchildren dearly and are happy to care for them.
But like many GRGs, we feel like generational misfits.
The twins are high school seniors and turn 18 in February.
We don't fit in with other high school parents because we are older.
This is very apparent at concerts and gymnastics meets.
Some parents stare at us when we attend athletic meetings.
We don' fit in with our own generation because we are on different schedules.
Friends talk about their European trips and upcoming travel plans.
We talk about biology projects and homecoming events.
Our conversations could hardly be more different.
Sometimes we feel overwhelmed.
As the Grandparents Weekly Website notes in an article, "Tips for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren," the responsibilities of being a GRG can be an enormous weight.
"The task of providing total financial support and parental guidance to your grandchildren can be daunting.
" Our weekly food bill has tripled and so has our gas bill.
The twins share a car, but when their schedules differ, they use my car.
I feel like we have a fleet of cars on the road constantly.
As you might expect, our utility bills are higher as well.
The only solution is to cut back on expenses and we have.
Montana State University Extension Service examines the role of a GRG in a Website article, "Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Parenting the Next Generation.
" Grandparents are willing to accept the parenting role, but many don't have the resources they need, according to the article.
Read the GRG blogs and you will find many are living in poverty or close to the poverty line.
GRGs need support -- someone to talk to when the going gets tough.
"Grandparents may feel a desire to talk with people who are in a similar situation and to have a support network to rely upon as questions and concerns arise," the Montana State University articles notes.
While this is good advice, it may not be possible.
I tried to find a GRG support group in my community, only to find it had been disbanded.
Until they moved away, we relied on family members for support, and now we rely on each other.
The tasks associated with being a GRG also make us generational misfits.
We thought these tasks would dwindle in time.
Instead, our caregiving tasks have increased.
Court reports require hours of preparation time and ongoing legal fees.
We are also working on college funding -- another huge responsibility.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry discusses the roles of a GRG in its article, "Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.
" "Many grandparents in this care taking role underestimate or are unaware of the added burdens in their new role as 'parents' will place on them," the article explains.
Yet GRGs can provide stable homes"and be a healthy role model for their grandchildren," according to the academy.
Ballooning tasks, need for support, increased expenses, and disparate schedules come together to make us generational misfits.
Are there solutions? We attend social events when possible, stay in touch via email, visit family members, and are widening our circle of friends.
I have logged into GRG Websites as well.
We are blessed to be GRGs and appreciate the happiness it brings to our lives.
Copyright 2009 by Harriet Hodgson