So much has happened today -- I could write a book.
Nothing terrible, but some interesting insights into the workings of peoples' minds when managing children's behaviour and the problems they face.
Where to start -- at the beginning I guess...
I got an email the other day promising a big box of chocolates if I could manage the behaviour of a mini tyrant -- he's 7! Challenge or what? The choice promise was from a fellow professional who advises on attendance, truancy, but also has the authority to make referrals to my classes.
She's making a referral for mini tyrant and reckons he's going to take all my skill to manage..
..
She even has doubts that it's possible! What she didn't know is that I'd already met this little guy.
Last year the head teacher of his school asked me to observe the class as some children (including mini tyrant) were causing major behaviour problems in and out of class.
The young teacher was out of her depth and needed some advice and guidance.
So, I went and observed.
Oh dear..
..
it wasn't good.
The amazing thing was that there were four adults and just under 30 children...
but there was no apparent plan of who was supposed to be doing what with the children.
There was no team work, no adult authority and the class lacked discipline, structure and routine.
Mini tyrant was OK at first and then he started...
He began fidgeting around on his chair and poking the child next to him with a pencil.
I waited for an adult to step in and do something...
But, no, they just ignored his behaviour...
this could lead to disaster.
Then he was off the chair and rolling around on the floor -- even this didn't cause a rush of activity from the adults to stop the bad behaviour.
By this time he had rolled out of reach under the table and it was getting to the point of no return -- and it only took a couple of minutes to get to this point.
I was intrigued as to what was going to happen next.
Off he went -- disappearing out of the class this time and into the cloakroom area.
Action! The disappearance made one of the adults move and she followed him -- I was really intrigued now...
I followed -- I could hear 'bang, bang, bang' as a door was opened and slammed shut.
The adult stood by and watched as he did this.
'What will you do now?' I asked.
I was told that she didn't know what to do.
I wasn't really surprised -- her body language showed she didn't have the confidence and of course, mini tyrant was well aware of this.
I asked if she wanted me to show her what she should do.
'Oh, yes please,' she said.
Her body language changed as she recognised that help was being offered that would relieve her from the situation.
The slamming door wasn't full height.
Mini tyrant was glaring at us, almost challenging a confrontation.
I reached out and held the door, and reached to take his hand, saying, 'Come with me, young man,' and propelled him swiftly away from the door.
I asked support worker to go to class first and sit just inside the door.
It happened in a couple of seconds and he walked with me quite freely -- this was a new experience for him, but not unpleasant.
I took him into class to where the lady was sitting saying firmly, 'Sit on the floor next to that lady and don't move until she tells you to, do you understand?' 'Yes miss', he said.
He sat down, looking at me, a little confused! 'That's a good boy, now don't move.
' All the adults were watching this unfold and were astounded.
'But, he doesn't do as he's told like that,' one of them said.
'Well he does,' I said, 'because he's doing it.
' A little girl (another with behaviour 'difficulties'), turned to one of the adults and pointing at me said, very knowledgeably, 'Now, she's good!' Out of the mouths of babes! How quickly children assess adults' ability to manage their behaviour -- who they have to take notice of and those who they recognise as not having any authority...
No wonder so many children are running rings round adults...
So what did I do that's so different and why is it so effective? It's really simple.
I have 100% confidence in my behaviour management strategies and I know that whatever action I take will have the result I want.
Children read my confidence -- as well as they read dithering from those who are unsure of themselves.
They work on instinct and know immediately whether an adult has to be listened to or if it's worth testing them out.
They quite happily allow confident adults to take control of situations as the mini tyrant proved.
He met a different adult who was completely confident and he behaved exactly as he should.
Understandably, children aren't going to be too keen to follow the rules when they've been allowed to get away with appalling behaviour for so long and they'll resent that the adults are trying to regain control.
It's vital that you persevere.
Correct use of timing, body language, tone and attitude are essential.
Anyone can learn to manage children's behaviour effectively -- read up on the techniques, practise and implement them consistently -- that's it...