When friends or relatives pass away, you will likely be visiting funeral homes to pay your last respects.
This is an emotional time for everyone and can cause an array of reactions.
Some individuals do not want to go to the mortuary because they are not sure how to act, what to say, or what to do.
The important thing is to support other grieving family members and allow the ceremony to provide you with a sense of closure.
Here are some tips for appropriate etiquette when saying your final goodbyes.
- Do arrive in a timely manner to a memorial service or viewing.
If a ceremony has started and you have to burst through the doors when everyone is deep in prayer or meditation, this can be disconcerting to the family members.
- Do wear clothing that is tasteful.
While the wearing of all black is not necessary in modern times, a show of respect for the institution and the grieving loved ones is to dress in a respectful manner.
Clean, pressed clothing that is free of slogans and refraining from excessive skin exposure is best.
Save your tube tops, hot pants, and Grateful Dead shirts at home.
- Do keep your voice down.
Of course it will be natural to want to converse with others to offer support but do this in a volume-turned-down manner.
- Do offer hugs, kind words, and condolences to the next of kin.
If you do not know what to say, just say that your heart is with them and that you wish them strength.
It is always reassuring for loved ones to hear that their deceased family member was important in the lives of others.
If you go to funeral homes to see your former favorite teacher who changed your life, tell his or her family members this detail.
- Do write notes of condolences to family members saying all of the above.
Sometimes the bereaved are too shaken up to hear words but they can read your note later.
- Do not say anything negative about the corpse.
It is true that without the life and spirit of the person, the body is just a shell and looks different.
You can acknowledge this internally but it is never compassionate to say, "It does not look anything like Uncle Ned!" in funeral homes.
- Do not forget to either send flowers to the family or a donation to a favorite charity of the deceased.
If your Aunt Hilda was an animal lover, sending a check in her name to the Humane Society might be more appreciated than another arrangement of gladiolas.
When loved ones pass away, paying your respects at funeral homes can bring healing to you and the next of kin.
By following some simple rules of etiquette, the experience can be almost pleasant.